Ben’s Friends is a coalition of sober F&B people committed to their sobriety in an industry filled with drugs, alcohol, and stress. Each of us has found or is seeking sobriety and a way to deal with our careers and life in a sane and purposeful fashion. We are here to share together how we do it and provide those seeking sobriety with the tools and the community needed to find it. Our only purpose is to help each other find freedom from the bondage of our addiction.
Our Founders
Restaurants and hospitality are in our blood. While these industries have given us more than we could have ever imagined, they are also where our addictions began and grew. While we found sobriety before it was too late, many of our talented peers are not so fortunate.
We have seen far too many good people lose themselves, their careers, and sometimes even their lives to alcohol and drug abuse. We were compelled to act when Ben Murray, a friend and colleague, took his life in 2016 because of his addiction. We could no longer stand by and watch tragedies strike around us – we needed to try to help. Through the pain of this loss, Ben’s Friends was created.
Our mission is a simple one: to help those who are struggling find freedom from the bondage of their addictions. We do this every day by creating a community of sober chefs, line cooks, servers, bartenders, hosts, managers, and more who are committed to helping others find the support that they need.
With nearly 70 years of combined sobriety between us, we are proof that you can live a full, rich, rewarding, and sober life while working in restaurants and hospitality. We hope you will join us.
Steve Palmer + Mickey Bakst
Our friend, Ben
Ben was full of life, Ben was kind. Ben had an air of lightheartedness about him that I always loved. Ben always found a way to make things work. He was someone who had genuine care and empathy for other people and was born to be in hospitality and I miss him everyday.
– Steve Palmer
Testimonials
“I needed help. I didn’t know what help looked like or how to ask for it. Help showed up in the form of Ben’s Friends. But it’s a package deal. Along with the help I also got friends, knowledge, self-worth, laughter and tears, peace, guidance, songs, photos, stories. I got a community of people that understood. And I got so much more than that.”
“In an industry where sobriety can feel impossible, the people I have met through Ben’s Friends have become my heroes, my friends and my hope. I am grateful to this group every day…”
“Ben’s Friends showed me that I was not alone as a sober hospitality professional. The power of this group has bolstered my belief that the industry I adore has a huge and growing space for meaningful and lasting sobriety.”
Ben’s Friends was the first group of people I met who were in recovery. I was very reluctant to ask for help, but the honesty and quality of life amongst the people I met allowed me to open up more. I used to feel like an island in a crowded room. Ben's Friends has helped me to become more comfortable living a fuller life with my own face on.”
“Words cannot express my gratitude for Ben’s Friends. When things got bad, Ben’s Friends was a beacon of hope. Thanks to the group, I saw many people in the industry that were living a happy, healthy, sober life. I believe that I could do the same. Today, I am the happiest and healthiest that I have ever been. I would not b e who I am today without the help of Ben’s Friends.”
"Ben’s Friends is the reason I can Manage a restaurant sober, I didn’t believe it was possible until finding our community. BF are my people, the strength I lean on and the strongest reminder that I can pursue my passion for our industry without alcohol and drugs."
"When I was first getting sober, I was told I had to get out of the industry I loved. Ben’s Friends shows us that not only is that not true, but we can thrive and help those that need our help…our own."